I know many of you have been following me through my fitness journey for the last few years. I talk about my personal life and my own struggles but I’ve always left my frustrations out of my blog when it comes to my family and friends for protection of their feelings. I would never want anyone to think I was outing them or make them feel bad about their progress, lack of progress of anything else. So, while I’m writing this I just know my mom is going to be mad at me (but not for long).

Mom, Nan, Aunt Beth

I grew up in a house with emotional eaters. For some reason I never really fell into this trap but I also had a really good metabolism so I could eat crap and nothing would happen (until I hit college). I struggled emotionally with shopping addiction which is a whole different being in my life that I will write about on a different day. When my mom was stressed she would eat, when my sister had a bad day or was made fun or – they would eat together. Dairy Queen was a favorite.

1980's

Like many people, my mom is a single mother. She did EVERYTHING for me and Emily. She sacrificed for us and looking back I wish I would have understood more growing up. But I had my own anger and resentment in my life stemming from my deadbeat dad (yet another blog post or hundred blogs I could write another time) to really get what was going on in our life. I remember in high school my mom lost a bunch of weight and she looked and felt fabulous. She would go to the gym while my sister and I swam at the pool for hours after school or on weekends.

Then my grandmother got sick in 2000. I can’t even write about this because it breaks my heart into pieces. During this extremely stressful time, we were all depressed and emotional eaters. After she died, things were even worse. My family was devastated and we all struggled in our own dysfunctional way to heal and get past the heart break. Then I went off to college and my grandfather needed help. My mom and sister moved into our old house with him. Looking back since I was away in college I don’t remember a lot but I’m pretty sure my sister and mom still struggled with their weight.

My classy and beautiful Nan

In 2005 our lives were again turned upside down. My grandfather suffered from diabetic symptoms and complications putting him at the Cleveland clinic for the last couple months of the year. We spent that Christmas in a hotel room in Cleveland eating Chinese food while he was healing from having his lower leg amputated. We ALL gained weight. All we could do was eat junk food while waiting around the clinic or whatever we could order to the hotel room. I had a very stressful job as a child welfare caseworker and drove back and forth to Cleveland several times a month. In January 2006, he passed away and it broke our hearts wide open again.

Pop, Emily, ME

Just 2 weeks after that, my uncle was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. My mom spent 6 unrelenting months back and forth from Ohio to Colorado ensuring he received proper treatment, diagnoses and care. My mother is the ultimate caregiver, always putting her feelings and emotions aside to take care of everyone else. Uncle Rob died in September 2006. We all struggled again with depression  and weight problems. It made it really difficult for a while to plan my wedding although it was a pleasant distraction.

Uncle Rob

My sister lost weight for my wedding and so did I, my mom wanted to and she tried, but the grief and loss of losing 2 of our closest family members in the past year held her back. She still looked beautiful in my wedding picture.

Wedding 2007

I gained a bunch of weight after getting married in 2007 and in 2008 is when I started my journey into the fitness world. I tried to get my sister and mom to come with me but they resisted the entire time. I lost weight, got fit and felt great but always felt there was a piece missing.

Before

My only biological family left is my mom, sister and an estranged aunt (her sister) so it was extremely important to me that they got healthy to stay around for the long run. I preached, bitched, moaned, begged and to no avail did they want to make a change.

When I found out I was pregnant last Xmas, I cried and begged her to get in shape for the baby. I wanted her to be able to run around with my child and be around for a long time with us. It worked for a short bit.

It wasn’t until this past summer when something clicked with both my mom and my sister. They finally started going to the gym. They finally started to lose weight. They are keeping it off and going to the gym consistently. My mom hired a trainer and my sister enlisted in some friends to help her stay on track. My mom and sister both have dropped more than 5 clothing sizes and probably close to 50 pounds a piece.

The funniest thing about this whole situation is that I had nothing to do with it. I can’t even use them as a testimonial because they did it on their own. I’m sure in some way I influenced them on the back end but they did it all by themselves on the front end and I have never been so proud.

My family has enough genetic health problems to worry about, a preventable problem should not be part of that list. I am so excited that I can go to the gym now with my family, eat healthy meals and know we are going to live a long healthy life together!

My MAJOR point of this blog post is not to brag about my family or make they self-conscious, it is to show people that you can’t force someone to lose weight or get fit. It HAS to be their own decision. My mom and sister had all the tools, all the resources and CHOSE not to use them. It was until they were emotionally AND physically ready to go on this journey did they make it happen.

Do you ever notice on the Biggest Loser during the first 3 weeks of the show, you always know the contestants that are going to be going home first. They make excuses, they say they can’t do stuff, they bitch and moan about everything that is going right or wrong with the program. They aren’t holding themselves accountable for their actions because they aren’t READY to do so. Those are the folks that thought going on a TV show would motivate them to lose weight, they thought the prospect of winning $250,000 would push them to lose weight. Well, they were wrong. They never had the inherent focus and determination with realistic goals to get where they really wanted to go.

People still ask me to this day how I lost weight. When I start telling them diet and exercise, their eyes glaze over after 30 seconds of the conversation. They want and need me to say I took pills or stopped eating carbs to fulfill their own mental vision of what it is like to lose weight. In their minds, there is a magic formula to lose weight and they aren’t ready to accept the fact that it took them years to gain the weight, so it is going to take years to lose it. They have to realize the only way to do it is by sheer dedication and will power. And without that mental strength, the physical aspect will never come. Hence my tag line of Strong Mind, Strong Body.

I want my mom and my sister to know how proud of them I am and I’m pretty sure they did it on their own because they are sick of me telling them what to do and bossing them around.  Although i am going to have to snap a picture of my fit sister next time I am home for Christmas next weekend!!!

This is the part that is going to make my mom cringe!!! If you are reading this, please leave her and my sister a note of encouragement or share you story with us. I would love to hear stories about how you found your moment or if you are looking for your rock bottom now!

XOXO

Strong Mind, Strong Body- Rebecca Black

September 2009 - Mom's before picture!

Mid-Way Progress Photo! December 2011~~